savoy076

For anyone that saw the post title and was expecting a literary comparison between Paradise Lost and barbaric practices, you need to lay off the peyote. More accurately, in the midst of an amazing dump today, I was thinking about how two different people in two different worlds can be so incredibly alike. Also, don't read House of Leaves if you want to sleep at night. Just for a minute, let's pour some salt on some old wounds and revisit two of the most interesting people of the minute: Conan O'Brien, and Milton Bradley. As we all know, Bradley was shipped to Seattle, never to be heard from again. O'Brien was also given the boot, although I suspect we will hear more from him in September when he (spoiler alert?) signs on with FOX. Start from the beginning - O'Brien is given a cushy new position as head of the Tonight Show, a big deal position that just hasn't had the same "Oomph" since Johnny Carson. He replaces an aging Jay Leno, who for whatever r...

Since there's not a whole lot going on sports-wise (unless you're that guy who's into hockey), I thought I'd take this opportunity to pimp my new blog, What Mean Expendable? On this site you'll find some of my design/artwork -- remember, I'm the guy who came up with the award-winning Luol's Dong logo (my mom was very proud.) You can also expect occasional rants and shit-talking. It'll be fun. Http://whatmeanexpendable.wordpress.com . Do it. Do it now!

I can see daylight! That means I'm gonna score...! Somewhere along today's news of Dusty Dvoracek and Gaines Adams, I found this little nugget: " I showed up at the team meeting (Saturday) and nobody told me to get out, so it's good news ." You know who said that? Craig Fucking Krenzel. Of all the things that are buzzing through my head, the only one I can think of is this: This is the third plague. Essentially, God has decided that he can no longer accept the Bears as a football team, and they must be destroyed. This, I believe, is because we did not release his chosen people. Sid Luckman, a nice Jewish boy, was so close to being relieved of the burden of having 31 INT be the most by a Bears QB. Instead, Jay Cutler was unable to finish the job, and so he remains enslaved. If you look at the biblical 10 plagues, you've got the plagues of Blood, Frogs, Wild Beasts, Flies, Livestock Death, Boils, Flaming Hail, Locusts, Darkness, and Death of the Firstborn. If yo...

I opened the newspaper this week (to look at the pictures, obviously - this whole "reading" thing is beyond me), and what do I see? The Cubs acquire Greg Maddux, and the whole world is urging Sosa to admit to steroid use in the wake of a Mark McGwire announcement. This is a paper from 2010. First of all, let's get our facts straight. Here's what matters: #1. Sosa did roids. And corked bats. And vampirism . If there's a way to illegally gain a competitive edge and be a fucker at the same time, he's got it. #2. McGwire did roids. #3. The universe now assumes that any effective baseball hitter is doing steroids. #4. Wil Cordero beats his wife . That said, who really cares anymore? Baseball's image is at a weird state right now - you've got the rose-tinted glasses nostalgia thing going on, and you also have the "let's get on with our lives" phenomenon. Look at it this way - comparatively speaking, did anyone - anyone at all - give a shit when...

VICTORY IS DELICIOUS! To say that I'm a little late to posting on this one is an understatement, but it still needs to be said: why are two ex-Bears runningbacks leading the way for their respective playoff teams? Sure, the game is over NOW, and Shayne Graham is probably going to go home and beat his wife, but coming into this one, the evidence is damning. Well, actually, before I go into that, I do have one brief announcement: FUCK YOU RON TURNER. THANKS FOR RUNNING OUR OFFENSE INTO THE GROUND. I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL. Ah, that's better. As I was saying... The Jets, led by the success of ex-Bear Thomas Jones were set to play the Bengals, led by the success of ex-Bear Cedric Benson. Logically speaking, you don't often see a team go through two runningbacks that produce elsewhere within such a limited timeframe. Jones was on the Bears as recently as 2007, and Benson as recently as 2008. And, of course, look what happened. Benson toted the rock for 169 yards and a TD in a post...