savoy076

39 points, 6 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals and 2 blocks. He probably would have dropped 40 last game too if he wasn't in foul trouble in the first half. Also, little note, Joe Noah's stat line for first 2 games: 15pt 17reb 1ast 1stl 3blk 18pt 19reb 2ast 2stl 2blk That's outlandish! I hope you grabbed him in your fantasy league... Dude is a BEAST. Bulls are looking tough - loving the way Taj is pounding the boards, loving Noah (obviously) and Rose looks like he's taken the jump. Is it too early to get excited? I'm excited. -KEG

Fear of death can negatively effect decision making... Five beers and a smashed TV remote later, the Bears pissed away another winnable game, 17-14. Not really sure where to start here, so I'll rattle off 3 relevant statistics: 9TO's in the game 4INT's and a fumble lost for Cutler, 2 TO's in the red zone. 2 defensive TD's Clearly not an elegant display of football artistry this afternoon. It was kind of the worst game I've ever seen but also a ridiculously entertaining and close game until the end. At first, the game had the same stink of our last 3 losses: no line protection, no running game and a lot of sloppy play calling. Cutler running for his life, the receivers pulling up on routes and the defense spending too much time on the field. Then we started to pull it together at the end of the first half. The running game is starting to pick up steam (opened up by the passing game) and Cutler finally converts a 3rd down to Hester and caps off the last drive with...

There...I can almost see 1-6... It's not easy having the worst record in Fantasy Football. I know, because I'm there right now. Now, I know what you're all thinking: "But wait! You're the best FF player ever! You make the playoffs every year! Is this real life!?" Sadly dear friends, this is indeed real life. All hope has not been lost, though. Let's look at how I started the year, and where I'm at now: Before QB: Favre (C+) RB1: Ronnie Brown (B-) RB2: Ryan Grant Tim Hightower (D+) WR1: Randy Moss (B+) WR2: Malcolm Floyd (A-) WR3: Miles Austin (A) TE: Jermaine Gresham (C+) After QB: Drew Brees (A+) RB1: Joseph Addai (B+) RB2: DeAngelo Williams (B+) WR1: Johnny Knox (B) WR2: Hines Ward (B) WR3: Jabbar Gaffney (B-) TE: Dallas Clark Chris Cooley (A) That is a vast improvement! How did I do it? For starters, I begged and groveled and dry humped just about every manager in the league. Then I cajoled. Then I made a bad trade (Favre and Austin for Vick and G...

The only nightmare you could have in this bed, is that it's yours... Do you sleep? Of course you do. When was the last time you went shopping for new bed sets ? I bet it's been a while. That's why we at the Dong would like to offer you a chance to win a fat gift certificate to CSN Stores (the fine company that supplies the aforementioned bedding products). Then you can go online and buy yourself that tonka truck bunkbed you've been eying since you got married... All you have to do, is send us an email outlining which Chicago players wife or girlfriend you would like to take a nap with and why. Some inspiration from Kristin Cavallari, Jay Cutler's current fling: You may remember her from Laguna Beach or The Hills. If you do, then shame on you, that's some terrible television. -KEG

Time for a rant about fantasy football. I've been playing fantasy football since 1995. This was the infancy of fantasy sports by most standards and just about everybody (including serious sports fans) had no idea what the fuck fantasy sports meant, and if forced to guess, probably thought it involved Magic cards, slap bracelets or Pogs. Back in these dark ages, you had to calculate your weekly score by hand from the box scores printed in the newspaper on Monday morning. The waiver wire was determined by whoever called the commissioner first. The only way you could watch your guys play was if you owned someone on a local team and they happened to be on TV or you could catch 5 seconds of highlights on SportsCenter (if you happened to be home when it was on). Most of the time, you drafted and traded based solely on statistics and tiny nuggets of occasionally useful information. Or in some cases, horrible information ("holy shit, Mike Cloud ran a 4.5 at the combine and is going to...

Luol Deng on Luol's Dong It seemed like it was never going to happen, but today was the day, ladies and gentlemen. Luol Deng has signed Luol's Dong. As I expect to be struck down by a lawsuit within the next 72 hours (hey WTTW, we're also defacing Bozo the Clown's likeness on our t-shirts as well - two for one on lawsuits!), it's best to get all of this amazingness out in the open right now. The day started innocently enough - due to some amazing timing and the incredible help of reader/slave Joseph, we were granted access to the Bulls' autograph session and open practice. The beginning of the day started with Benny the Bull and his best Whitesnake impression (although I didn't catch it on film, he did definitely spread eagle on that van). Once we got inside, it was a mad dash for Luol Deng. I mean, this guy is CLEARLY the most popular player on a Bulls team that just got Carlos Boozer and already has big names like Joakim Noah and Derrick Rose - it's no...

Career stats: 22TD, 19 INT, 4479 Yards, QB rating: 76.0 Todd Collins reminds me of mix between Cap Rooney from Any Given Sunday and a used car salesman. He's not bad - former 2nd round pick by the Bills and holds a bunch of college records at Michigan - but he's been a career NFL backup and despite a good run for the Skins in '06, has never really impressed on the field. He's been playing marginally for 15 years and at 38, you know he's not going to surprise you with anything. Carolina has their own problems. 0-4 with losses to the Bucs and Bengals (although they hung tight with the Saints last week), and only scoring 4 TD's in the last 3 weeks. Jimmy Clausen has some promise but right now, he sucks. He's also going to battle with the worst receiving corps in the NFL (without Steve Smith and his gimpy ankle). I guess Lovie is thinking that we can win with defense. Peppers should be fired up against his old team and Briggs and Urlacher have been elite through...

Reason #2315 not to wake a sleepwalker Look on the bright side - this is as many wins as I thought we'd get on the season. I mean, this isn't a team that screams "potential" and "consistency." This is a team that just screams. Usually in pain. Seriously, is anyone surprised that Cutler's brains got scrambled? Our offensive line is just a bunch of turnstiles wearing jerseys. When you have a guy who hangs onto the ball like that one fat slow kid who always lost at "Hot Potato", something bad is gonna happen. In this case, Cutler fall down go boom. Yes, he's concussed. Yes, he's going to throw picks. But he'll be back. Maybe not as willing to dive headfirst for that first down (which is, by the way, totally awesome), but he's still lightyears better than Todd Collins. And I'm pretty sure Collins died on Monday night...maybe not Trent Green style, but he's not going to be speaking coherently for a while yet. I think Jay Cutl...